I am a Virgo! You'll know what we have in abundance, right? Perfectionism! And guess what? Experts have confirmed that I am one. :)
On a serious note, I never knew something called the Perfectionist Syndrome (PS) was a real thing. At first when I was told that I had traits of PS - I thought it was some sort of a compliment. After all I was being successful in being A Virgo. In my head it referred to someone who wants things to be perfect and strives for it. So basically someone who does his work well and tries to minimize errors. "Wohooo!", I thought. It sounds like a parise because I never thought I was anything close to it. And, the bitter truth is, that is true as well. I am generally unorganized. Timetables and schedules don't quiet work for me. Also I am a big time procrastinator. I wondered where did the perfectionist in me come from. But this is all together a different ball game. I don't much is known about it or even discussed.
Now, let me tell you a little about the less known PS from I have learnt. Having PS does not mean you do things perfectly. But, it means that people with PS try attaining a level of perfectionism (which is usually unattainable) they believe is ideal. They strive for it and somehow are never satisfied. Does not sound all that bad right? But wait.. people with PS who try attaining perfectionism are not people who really attain perfection. There is a difference. Hell has broken loose for all of PSians (stupid but please let me call them this) because "Guess What?" there is NO SUCH THING AS PERFECTION. The perfection they are trying to chase is mostly built in their own minds and majority of the times unnecessary. They set extremely high standards and have strong notions about right and wrong. They tend to play between extremes - which leaves less scope for other possibilities.
Their perfection is not generally limited to themselves. Because they believe that maintaining such high standards is normal. They are often unhappy when they themselves or even others don't meet their expectations. This also makes them extremely critical of themselves and others. Because they're so critical of themselves they have a tendency of going in depression led by disappointment from not meeting one's expectations from one self. They tend to be control freaks and come across as people who are easy to work with and live with - thus work and relationships also suffer - maybe leading to further depression. Well, no surprises there!
The main problem with this condition is that one is so blinded by their perfectionism that do not see it as anything harmful but rather a tool to success. From a third person point of view this might sound like a positive to have. This is because it is said that people with such high standards end up performing better than others and thus climb the ladder of success quickly. The fact is that is come with a big price. Most of them don't even realize that they have it. One of the major reasons being that they generally do not end up reaching where wanted to and this makes them feel that they did not try enough or that they were not good enough. Thus, the next time they set higher standards and put in more effort. It is like a rut! Really!
Even after doing a good job people with PS never seem to be not happy. They are not happy with 'good enough'. The feeling that they are not good enough haunts them so much that many succumb to the self-created pressure and often reach a point of feeling suicidal. This feeling is however induced by other factors at play that have touched the zenith. The perfectionists turn into procrastinators as they begin to fearing failure. This keeps them in a constant state of anxiety. Besides, they cannot handle criticism from others and often suffer with excessive guilt. This journey is full of disappointments, lonely, and mostly not real, It is trap from which they might not be able to come out themselves - for they believe that the price (trauma) is worth paying. They may need external help. Most of the PSians either make it or they break it. It never comes very easily for them.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, Yes, I have a few traits of being a Psian too. It does make me feel worthless. I never seem to achieve my own targets and always feel that I did not try hard enough. But when I end up succeeding I feel that the task was easy. I will not give myself any credit. Our constant need for perfection not only drives us crazy but it can also make your loved one's go insane. I often forget to tell myself that this is as good as it can get!
I took PS to a different level. I thought I was autistic or I had ADHD and thus I was the way I am. Yes! the 'I am not good enough' can haunt you so much. I forget that I have a tendency of creating a perfect image of everything. But slowly I am trying to bring this to my consciousness and am making efforts to not let it take control over me. Yes, there is no such thing as perfection - for maybe things are perfect just the way they are.
We don't realize how much it affects us. It prevents you from being you not just in front of others but also in-front of your mirror. I have started to find beauty in imperfection and peace in accepting things as they are. Red pants can look nice with yellow boots. My reports are 'justified', font - Times new roman, size 11. Oops! but I forgot to run the spell check again. It's alright! I think running it twice already was enough :)
All the PSians there - Don't be so harsh on yourself! Things and people are good enough, and so are you, and so am I.
On a serious note, I never knew something called the Perfectionist Syndrome (PS) was a real thing. At first when I was told that I had traits of PS - I thought it was some sort of a compliment. After all I was being successful in being A Virgo. In my head it referred to someone who wants things to be perfect and strives for it. So basically someone who does his work well and tries to minimize errors. "Wohooo!", I thought. It sounds like a parise because I never thought I was anything close to it. And, the bitter truth is, that is true as well. I am generally unorganized. Timetables and schedules don't quiet work for me. Also I am a big time procrastinator. I wondered where did the perfectionist in me come from. But this is all together a different ball game. I don't much is known about it or even discussed.
Now, let me tell you a little about the less known PS from I have learnt. Having PS does not mean you do things perfectly. But, it means that people with PS try attaining a level of perfectionism (which is usually unattainable) they believe is ideal. They strive for it and somehow are never satisfied. Does not sound all that bad right? But wait.. people with PS who try attaining perfectionism are not people who really attain perfection. There is a difference. Hell has broken loose for all of PSians (stupid but please let me call them this) because "Guess What?" there is NO SUCH THING AS PERFECTION. The perfection they are trying to chase is mostly built in their own minds and majority of the times unnecessary. They set extremely high standards and have strong notions about right and wrong. They tend to play between extremes - which leaves less scope for other possibilities.
Their perfection is not generally limited to themselves. Because they believe that maintaining such high standards is normal. They are often unhappy when they themselves or even others don't meet their expectations. This also makes them extremely critical of themselves and others. Because they're so critical of themselves they have a tendency of going in depression led by disappointment from not meeting one's expectations from one self. They tend to be control freaks and come across as people who are easy to work with and live with - thus work and relationships also suffer - maybe leading to further depression. Well, no surprises there!
The main problem with this condition is that one is so blinded by their perfectionism that do not see it as anything harmful but rather a tool to success. From a third person point of view this might sound like a positive to have. This is because it is said that people with such high standards end up performing better than others and thus climb the ladder of success quickly. The fact is that is come with a big price. Most of them don't even realize that they have it. One of the major reasons being that they generally do not end up reaching where wanted to and this makes them feel that they did not try enough or that they were not good enough. Thus, the next time they set higher standards and put in more effort. It is like a rut! Really!
Even after doing a good job people with PS never seem to be not happy. They are not happy with 'good enough'. The feeling that they are not good enough haunts them so much that many succumb to the self-created pressure and often reach a point of feeling suicidal. This feeling is however induced by other factors at play that have touched the zenith. The perfectionists turn into procrastinators as they begin to fearing failure. This keeps them in a constant state of anxiety. Besides, they cannot handle criticism from others and often suffer with excessive guilt. This journey is full of disappointments, lonely, and mostly not real, It is trap from which they might not be able to come out themselves - for they believe that the price (trauma) is worth paying. They may need external help. Most of the PSians either make it or they break it. It never comes very easily for them.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, Yes, I have a few traits of being a Psian too. It does make me feel worthless. I never seem to achieve my own targets and always feel that I did not try hard enough. But when I end up succeeding I feel that the task was easy. I will not give myself any credit. Our constant need for perfection not only drives us crazy but it can also make your loved one's go insane. I often forget to tell myself that this is as good as it can get!
I took PS to a different level. I thought I was autistic or I had ADHD and thus I was the way I am. Yes! the 'I am not good enough' can haunt you so much. I forget that I have a tendency of creating a perfect image of everything. But slowly I am trying to bring this to my consciousness and am making efforts to not let it take control over me. Yes, there is no such thing as perfection - for maybe things are perfect just the way they are.
We don't realize how much it affects us. It prevents you from being you not just in front of others but also in-front of your mirror. I have started to find beauty in imperfection and peace in accepting things as they are. Red pants can look nice with yellow boots. My reports are 'justified', font - Times new roman, size 11. Oops! but I forgot to run the spell check again. It's alright! I think running it twice already was enough :)
All the PSians there - Don't be so harsh on yourself! Things and people are good enough, and so are you, and so am I.
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