I Don't Want to Have a Daughter

The issue of female foeticide is age-old in India. It is always an issue that is associated with other families and communities and not ours. So much is being done and so much is still needs to be done. "It is sad! Women need empowerment! They need support!" 

There is a stage that comes prior to female foeticide has taken place and that is the "preference phase". This is where the problem really lies. While I know various families who are overjoyed with the birth of a girl child, I have seen various couples who do not wish to have one. The reason is not dowry and nor is it that she is not a good investment. The reason is that they feel it is a stress to have one. Not that the daughter per se is the stress. However, the stress is involved in "letting her be". I not only hear men say this but many women don't want a daughter because they don't have the heart to have one.

I moved out of home in my early 20's. I was one of the first ones to have done so in my family. Of course, my parents were not too happy with me being on my own but they soon accepted it. They received various calls from my relatives asking about me. I am not sure if they were concerned about me.. but they did certainly worry my parents. I visited home often. People of course never stopped saying things. They had issues with the amount I was spending to travel back home. They asked my mother how she had the heart to keep me away from her sight.. they asked me to stay back at home so that I could help her with the household work. They went to ask my parents - how do you trust her to stay by herself? What if she does something wrong?

I later met those relatives here and there.. some of them said.. I am happy I don't have a daughter I would have not been as lenient as your mother and let you go. I said in my head "I am glad you don't have a daughter".